Dining Etiquette

• On time is late. Aim for 3–5 minutes early. Power move.
• Remove your coat before sitting. No one wants to watch you wrestle a puffer jacket off at the table.
• Greet your hosts first, not your phone. Yes, even if you’re “just checking something.”

• Wait to be seated unless it’s clearly casual.
• If unsure, take cues from the host. They set the tone.
• Your napkin goes on your lap immediately. Not tucked in like a bib. You’re not at a lobster shack, or a 1950s mobster.

• Gentle dab, never a wipe.
• Leave it folded loosely on your chair if you step away.
• At the end of the meal, place it to the left of your plate.
• Never refold. This isn’t origami.

Work from the outside in.
Yes, it’s that simple.

• Fork left, knife right.
• Dessert cutlery above the plate? Congratulations, you’ve reached the final boss.

• Small bites. You’re dining, not refueling.
• Chew with your mouth closed. A revolutionary concept.
• No talking with food in your mouth. Ever.
• Elbows off the table unless you’re gesturing. Controlled charisma only.

• Place your phone face down or, even better, out of sight in your pocket.
• Bathroom scrolling only.
• Filming your food? One photo max. No angles. No flash. No video/ 

If you must post:
“Casual dinner”
Never tag the restaurant unless they comped it.

• Don’t over-explain your choice.
• Avoid “I’ll just get…” Confidence, darling.

Wine ordering:

• If you don’t know, ask the sommelier.
• Communicate your vibe, rather than anything too scientific:
  “Something crisp, not too showy.”

Never:

• Sniff dramatically
• Swirl aggressively
• Say “interesting” (it’s never a compliment)

• Tear, don’t bite.
• Butter piece by piece, not the whole roll.
• Plate crumbs are not a garnish.

• Wait until everyone has their food.
• If told to begin, accept gracefully.
• Never hover with your fork mid-air. Creepy.

• Don’t ask what things cost.
• Don’t announce how expensive something is.
• “Worth it” is acceptable.
• “I can’t believe this was €32” is not.

If you’re hosting:

• Take the bill discreetly.
• No wallet theatre.
• No arguing over it. You invited them.

Splitting?

• Suggest it once.
• If someone insists, let them win. Gracious beats cheap.

• Thank the host.
• Compliment the experience.
• Don’t linger like a hotel lobby ghost.

Send a message later:

“Loved tonight. Let’s do it again soon.” Class never ghosts.

Good etiquette isn’t about rules.
It’s about making people feel at ease while looking impossibly put-together.

Eat well.
Behave better.
And never, ever clap when a plate arrives.